Hi there Reader,

This week’s email intro is a little different — perhaps something we all need.

Now, no one has said a word about our weekly jokes… not a peep… but our clever email system tells us the truth: hundreds of you click on them every single week. Clearly, there’s a silent army of pun-loving readers out there.

So, in the spirit of ending the year with a groan and a grin, we’ve rounded up our top terrible (grand)dad jokes of the year. These are the corkers that made the most of you click through — whether out of curiosity, courage, or an alarming tolerance for bad humour.

Ready for some truly questionable comedy?

• What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds!
• Two dyslexics walk into a bra.
• What do you call a boy who stopped digging holes? Douglas.
• Mountains aren't just funny, they are hill areas.
• I tried to write a chemistry joke, but could never get a reaction.
• What's blue and not very heavy. Light Blue.
• I burned 2000 calories today. I left my food in the oven for too long.
• What does an angry pepper do? It gets jalapeño face.
• I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.
• I ate a clock yesterday. It was so time consuming.

Hope that's made you laugh. Enjoy your week.

Amy

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P.S. If you’re still hunting for a gift that won’t gather dust, our experience gift ideas article is full of tried-and-tested ideas — from memorable outings to hands-on experiences that create stories, not clutter. Perfect for anyone who already has everything.

Let's explore Melbourne and beyond

​The Meat Goes On​ Max Thompson has spent fifty years at Queen Vic Market. This is what he’s seen — and what he’ll miss. A conversation with Max ​Book Paul's Market Day tour on Thurs 8 Jan​

“ Growing up in Melbourne, one thinks one has a certain level of knowledge of various aspects of our fine city. There is a plethora of cliched descriptions: vibrant, multi-cultural, diverse, the Arts and music heart of Australia. A walking tour of a small geographical section of the CBD with guide Paul Daffey, referred to all of those aspects but offered so much more. ​Read more here.​ — Kathy

Book our next Under the Clocks laneway walking tour here​

​Step Inside the Glamour of DIVA​ Dazzling costumes, iconic designs and the artistry behind decades of performance glamour is on display at this striking exhibition. See a sneak peek

​Local Faces: Sue Ellson​ Meet the woman empowering individuals to publish their work and build confidence in the digital world. (Plus, see her giveaway below!) Hear Sue's story

New at NGV: A Legacy of Light​ I predicted this would be an exhibition I’d revisit with my daughter and grand-daughter, hoping that images would tell a thousand words. Read Angie's review

PARTNER CONTENT ​Hamer Hall Morning Melodies 2026​ The much-loved series returns with a fresh program of uplifting concerts, friendly hosts and a relaxed atmosphere. Choose single tickets or save with a subscription. Book tickets

PARTNER CONTENT ​Jazz Nights, Up Close​ Enjoy an evening of rich melodies, warm atmosphere, and top musicians performing in an intimate setting. Reserve your spot

​Taste Your Way Down Flinders Lane​ From cosy eateries to acclaimed dining spots, Flinders Lane serves up flavours worth slowing down for. Take a tasty stroll

Enter our Weekly Giveaway

​Your Chance to Attend Sue Ellson’s Workshop​ Want to finally publish that family history or collection of stories? Enter to win a double pass to Sue Ellson’s practical and encouraging online publishing workshop this January. Enter Today

WHAT'S ON - Mark Your Calendars

• ​WAITRESS The Musical (1 - 31 May 2026). This heart-warming and empowering musical tells the story of Jenna, a small-town waitress and expert pie maker who longs to escape her rocky marriage and start again.​
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• ​Melbourne Art Fair (19–22 Feb 2026). A four-day showcase of contemporary art featuring over 100 artists and 70+ galleries, perfect for art lovers looking to discover emerging and established talent.
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• ​The Pallet Collective at Queen Victoria Market (until 28 Feb 2026). A curated retail pop-up showcasing independent makers, boutique producers and emerging designers under one roof — ideal for shoppers after unique gifts and artisan goods.​
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• ​Love Actually? The Musical Parody (until 23 Dec 2025)​. From the creators of “Friends! The Musical Parody,” this comedic production explores love through the antics of nine quirky couples, delivering awkward meet cutes and grand gestures that will have you laughing and singing along.
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• ​Summer at Grazeland (Fri 19 - Sun 21 Dec 2025). Grazeland is turning up the festive cheer and inviting Melburnians to eat, play, and celebrate their way through Christmas festivities. With over 50 food vendors on deck, grills will be fired up and coolers chilled, ready to serve some warm-weather favourites and a whole lot of fun!
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• ​Ballarat Begonia Festival (8–10 Mar 2026). A floral extravaganza at Ballarat Botanical Gardens with stunning begonia displays, live entertainment, garden-themed activities and family-friendly fun.

​seniorsinmelbourne.com.au​

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